Drumroll, please...

TUESDAY is the day! FINALLY! YAY!

Had the doctor's appointment at 10:30 this morning. Bad blood pressure (148/92) and bad blood sugars have helped my doctors to decide that it is time for Jake to come out. Got checked, still no change, despite the terrible contractions I have been having. So, induction it is.

Monday night I will go to the hospital (provided that they have a bed available) and they will admit me and give me Cervidil to soften my cervix even more than it is. Then I will be given Pitocin first thing in the morning. Hopefully it goes quickly and with the help of an epidural, painlessly :)

Winona will be watching Lindsey, but Dan and I want Linds with us as much as possible to bond with her little brother. We are very excited, exhausted, terrified...all these emotions into one.

This weekend will be spent as a family of three for the last time in our lives. We'll go to the pumpkin patch, Boo in the Zoo and to the Color Clay Cafe to paint some pottery. Dan will work on Monday, and a friend will come to the hospital with me until he can be there.

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers!

ch-ch-ch-changes

I have been stupidly watching the shows on TLC like A Baby Story, Deliver Me, Bringing Home Baby, etc...and I can't seem to stop crying! Now that it is time for me to be delivering my 2nd child, I find myself so terrified.

Our lives are going to change forever. Lindsey will not be the center of my universe any more, she will have to share me with someone else. She's so used to being my only one. I can't even get excited about her birthday that is in less than 2 weeks because I am so focused on getting her brother here safely and as soon as possible.

I am the sister to 3 siblings, but I can't remember a time with out my sisters---I mean, Eric came when I was 13, so I can remember life without him (not like I want to!). Will Lindsey remember life without her brother? Who knows.

All I know is that my life, Dan's life, Lindsey's life are changing and there is nothing that we can do about it. There is no stopping this. Everything is ready---his room is set, his bag for the hospital is packed (with his coming home outfit all washed and ready to go) and my bags are packed. I say that I am so ready to get him out, but in all actuality, I'm NOT! I can't believe how fast 38 weeks has gone. When Lindsey is asleep I wish that she would just wake up so I can hold her and pretend that she is still my baby, because there isn't much longer that she will be. I'm so irritatble and mean lately that I feel like I am taking everything out on her...and I feel like I will regret that for the rest of my life. My daughter is sleeping at the foot of my bed right now and I miss her so much because she isn't WITH me. But when she is awake, she's all over me like white on rice and that drives me insane.

So as of 10:30 tomorrow morning, we will have some semblance of an idea as to when I will have this little man. I can't believe that it is time. It really is a miracle that Jake has even survived this long. My father told me today that five months ago, he didn't expect that Jake would survive, though he would have cut out his tongue rather than tell me that. There is a downside to having medical personnel in your family...the same as it is to be a medical student when you are experiencing a high-risk pregnancy.

Jakey---I can't wait to meet you, my little miracle.

Give me a break.

On top of all the loveliness that is being 38 weeks pregnant, I seem to have caught a virus as well. Fantastic. Lindsey was sick on Saturday, she threw up three times and was just blah all day. I started feeling yucky yesterday morning...then it go progressively worse until I was yakking every five minutes. I literally vomited out everything that I had in me. So, we went to the hospital (where I should own a time-share by now) and got hooked up to the monitor (contractions every two minutes), got checked (100% effaced, 1 cm dilated....still) and waited. And waited. And waited. We were there for three hours until 3:30 am. Dan and I were exhausted, Lindsey had gone to my in-law's house for the night so she wouldn't have to come to the hospital.

One of the reasons I had to wait so long was that the computers were having issues, so it took forever to get some Staidol and Phenegran. Add on to that that a woman came in at 10 cm dilated and crowning. I wish I was that woman...though I don't know if I could do it without the drugs :)

So now, I'm exhausted and doped up on medicine...these meds make me feel like I am on some mind-trip. I can hardly keep my eyes open, but Dan has to work today...and he goes in early for a meeting! Hopefully I can take a nap with Lindsey a little later.

I see the doctor on Thursday...and we'll be discussing our options! YAY

Mind wanderings of an almost 38-wk pregnant person.

Ah. Quiet. Dan just went to get Lindsey from my in-laws house. She spent the night because around 10pm last night, I sat down by the tub to give Lindsey a bath, and wound up wet...hmmm. I thought, did my water just break, or did I pee myself?

Apparently I just peed myself.

No, I just have had a lot of yumminess...erm...leaking? So, we went to the hospital (AGAIN) and they checked, had me walk for an hour, checked me again, and told me to go home and go walking today. WHY THE HELL AREN'T THESE CONTRACTIONS DOING ANYTHING?!?!?!?!?!

First of all, I'm trying to figure out if they want me to get this kid out, or if they just want me to get off my fat-ass and do something. It could possibly be a compination of the two. Either way, I have gotten more exercise in the past three days than I have in the entire time that I have been pregnant. We walked three miles on Friday, one mile yesterday, and today we are going to Fall for Greenville downtown, and I am sure that I will do about another three miles or so just with that. I'm really coming to HATE my cervix, and I can not WAIT until I can get my tubes tied so I never ever have to go through this hell that is childbearing again.

What the frick was I thinking? I mean honestly. I would have been so happy living my life with only giving birth once. But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I had to do it again. What am I, a dumbass?!

So it is off to walk, have sex, and stimulate my nipples for now. I'll update soon the rantings and ravings of a completely insane woman.

My cervix hates me.

God damn it all.

So, I'm having these horrid contractions that are anywhere from 2-4 minutes apart...but they aren't freaking doing ANYTHING! I'm still only 1 cm dilated.

I am so disappointed. I'm HUGE and UNCOMFORTABLE.

I'm tempted to find some knitting needles to break my own water.

Is He Coming?!

Tuesday: after cerc came out, 50% effaced

Wednesday: 90% effaced

Thursday: 100% effaced, 1 cm dilated and baby is in position for labor, hence why I can not walk any more.

They think Jake is going to come tomorrow!!! I think 10/10 is a great birthday to have. The mucous plug is gone, the contractions are 2 minutes apart, and I've started to have some spotting (gross, maybe. Sorry for TMI, but hey, you came on a pregnant woman's blog) so it is expected that Jake is going to make his worldly entrance by the end of the weekend. I sure hope so, I'm sick of being pregnant and feeling this way. Contractions suck ass. They really do.

So, I'm waiting for Dan to come home to help me dilate a little more :) Then we are headed to the mall first thing in the morning to walk out this baby!

Wish us luck!

37 weeks pregnant

I'm still big, fat and pregnant.

UGH.

I got my cerclage out yesterday. Very uncomfortable (no one tells you that!) and I was REALLY hoping that Jake would follow the cerclage. No such luck, I suppose. So, I suffer on. His ultrasound was good, they guesstimate his size to be around 7 1/2 pounds already. At 37 weeks? Holy GOD! He's going to be a big guy. We did some more 3-D pics but he was grumpy during the whole thing. One of the cool things was that we got to see his feet in 3-D...he has Dan's monkey toes. HAHA!

So, went to the doctor today for my 37 week appt. WOOT. Had my cervix checked (no WOOT) and I was not dilated yet, but I am 90% effaced (thinned out) so I suppose that is a good thing. My blood pressure was SUPER high for me (normally I am in the high 110s, low 120s over the high 70s, and today it was 140/88....ewww) and now I am swollen up like a moon pie. It's ugly, truly it is.

So after the appointment, Lindsey and I went and walked around the mall for an hour. I had to get some nursing bras and then I bought the new Nicholas Sparks book for something to occupy myself until Jake decides that it is time for him to make his appearance.

I think I had my sights set too high. I was REALLY hoping to have him (or at least get STARTED on having him) yesterday or today. And while I am still having contractions, they aren't doing much. Perhaps by this weekend he will come. I really effing hope so. I want my body back!

Tonight Lindsey is going over to her friend's house tonight to play, while Mandy, Stephanie, Janna and I go out for a final HURRAH for me. We're going for Don Pablo's...we figure we should spice him out of me! Pepcid, here I come! I was hoping to get a pedicure as well, but my feet are super swollen and uncomfortable, maybe we might have to skip it, but maybe not. Either way, I want to forget that I am going to have a baby for a little while, and get out with my friends before my life is dictated by a small infant. I have the best friends in the WORLD!