Can't do it...

I just can't do it anymore.

I know that it is for the best for both me and Jake, but this bed rest is going to KILL me. I get excited when I get to go out in the car. I enjoy the half-hour that I can sit on the edge of the pool so much. I HATE THIS!!

Everyone tells me that it will all be worth it once he is born. I know that. But I am 20 weeks pregnant and it looks like I am going to have to be doing this crap for the next 20 weeks. I cheat a lot...and I know that I am only cheating myself and my baby...but even when I do lay in bed, nothing changes.

Today we went to Wal-Mart and then out for pizza, then tonight we went out for dinner with a friend. I mean, I'm sitting down most of the time at least, but I can't lay down anymore. Am I selfish? Maybe.

Sorry, I just needed to vent...